Today, my friends, I plan to help you get through what happens after you’ve made it past third base. This may be one of the hardest topics to advise folks on because there is no fool-proof way to make everyone a lady-pleaser. Some people are just doomed to a lifetime of mediocrity in the bed and there’s not a damn thing I can do for you. For the rest of you, these next few tips may be helpful.

Foreplay: A Necessary Evil

Getting your lady ready to go is almost similar to starting your car on a cold winter morning. You can't just jump in that cold, frosty motherf-cker and start driving. You have to warm up her engine first. Get her motor running and her defrost going until she's warm, comfortable, and ready to ride.

Foreplay Tips

The Breasts – Women tend to be more sensitive directly on the nipple. So lick, suck, and nibble around there, too.

The Clitoris - Extremely sensitive. Try not to start off by going directly for it. Start with the lips and work your way to the “spot”. If you're using your finger, try putting your fingertip in your mouth first to wet it before placing it down there. It will feel more intense and less-abrasive than if your finger was dry.

Do Not Talk a Bunch of Sh-t

Even if you are an expert-level ‘cocksman’, don’t beat her in the head with a bunch of talk about how good you are. It ‘s better to just show her and surprise the hell out of her. Plus, it’ll benefit you if you happen to have a less-than stellar performance.

Go With The Flow, But Not Overboard

Hopefully, you’ve found a way to bring up the topic of sex with this woman before you two got to this point. If so, you may have some insight as to whether she likes tender lovemaking, or if she's into rough stuff. If not, than just let things happen naturally and go with the flow. You'll be able to tell if she wants you do lay her on her back and give her slow missionary strokes, or if she wants you to toss her over the side of the couch and give it to her DMX in Belly style.

Pump Management

Bernie Mac once said "A f-ck ain't nothin' but 50 pumps. Count it if you ain't got nothin' better to do." While the actual number of hump pumps may vary, you must always practice good pump management. If you get too caught up in the moment, you may bust too fast and be known as minute man amongst your lady’s friends. Usually, you'll know when the sex is getting really good and you might not be able to hold on much longer. Your equipment starts feeling tingly, like some magical sh-t is about to happen. At this point, if you know that she hasn’t had her orgasm yet, do whatever is necessary to slow yourself down. Change positions; Go down on her; Think about Al Sharpton's chest hair...Whatever it takes to distracting you from shooting too soon. If the thought of Al Sharpton's hairy civil rights man-tits is too much, come up with your own visual.

There you have it. You are now ready to not make an ass of yourself once
the time for sex comes. Good luck, and happy stroking.