The Commission Report By Kris “K. Cutta” Payne & J. “Nino Brown” Gray (And in some cases the weed man) With their mutual fondness for spectacles over contacts, NoVision Records have just released a press release announcing that Lupe Fiasco & Ray Cash will be partnering for a full length LP entitled “Revenge of the Nerds” With his new Hollywood success, BBT (Blacker than Black Television) has proclaimed Jamie Foxx our Black Will Smith! To strike gold once is amazing, but ask anybody in Hollywood and they will testify that striking gold twice ranks with turning water to wine. With that said Nas, DMX, and director Hype Williams have announced that fans of the urban cult classic Belly can expect a second plate of the violent dealings of Sincere & Tommy. Like most movies a need for a sequel to Belly is questionable and one is left wondering where the hell could this story possibly go?!?!- Reportedly, Belly 2 finds DMX convincing Nas to come back from Africa for god knows what reason. Only one small detail makes this plot far fetched…Africa is F-CKING FAR! So let us get this right, 6 or 7 years after Nas has moved his entire family to Africa, DMX flies alone TO Africa to get Nas. Then DMX and Nas fly BACK from Africa to sell drugs? Can’t wait for Belly 3. (Picture of Jay-z sans Steve Carrell on the cover of the “40 Year-old-Virgin. Instead it reads “The 40-Year-Old Rapper”). It was never a question of if but when, when will be given another full length offering by the god emcee. Apparently the prayers of legions of Hip-Hoppers will be answered with the first studio LP since Mr. Carter’s ’03 retirement. Its redundant to say that this CD will be better than any cd you’ve bought since ’03, but with the likes of Cool & Dre, Scott Storch, and Timbaland already recording with William H. it seems the president is going for a sound to compliment linens and Gucci slippers. “CHANCLETAS! The King of New York was wearing f-cking CHANCLETAS!!!” (Sorry I had to go there.) Maybe we’re bugging…so Tyrese swam from Los Angeles to Mexico and somehow found Meagan Good and his son on the beach? Plus had time to buy the horse and buy a fresh linen outfit! If you don’t believe me see “Waist Deep”. With his growing list of enemies it seems that Kanye’s beef with Jockey and Fruit of the Loom has spilled out violently into the streets…as the Chicago emcee/producer has refused to wear undershirts ever again. How ironic is it that so many females judge video models so harshly, but because it’s on the Internet their butt naked pictures on myspace.com are justified? Since 40 is the new 20, can we get a Lark Voorhees photo spread in Playboy? PLEEAASSEE?? advertisement